As my 2 year old daughter, Alexandria(Alex), was throwing a few shoes at my head, I decided I should try this whole blogging thing, again.
So yeah, here's another stay at home mother, blogging for shits and giggles. Or to record as much as possible, on a public forum, in case my children take over and tie me up/kill me/force me to watch endless amounts of shitty cartoons so I go completely insane and run away. If the latter happens, I will probably end up naked somehow.
Here's my life story all rolled into one blog post because I don't want to stretch out something that is pretty unexciting.
I was given the name Samantha at birth, my father tells me I am named after Samantha Stephens from Bewitched, but I'm not sure how much of what he says is believable. Anyway, I'm currently 25(born in 1986). I grew up in Massachusetts which I totally believe is the worst state in the entire United States even though I haven't lived in or even visited most of them. I now live in Connecticut, which is pretty similar to Massachusetts in some aspects, but the residents have a lot more money and are A LOT more bitchy, in an upper-middle class kind of way, which drives me insane.
When I was 18, I met a guy named Scott. He impregnated me shortly after us meeting and 3 years later he then married me. Sometime between then and now, we had 3 more children together. All. Girls. I have 4 girls, what the fuck, God. I had our 4th daughter when I was 24, and then had a Tubal Ligation.Which I may add was a wonderful decision because me being pregnant is probably the worst idea ever.
My sob story is when my youngest was 4 months old, said husband, left me and our kids because of our shitty marriage/his new girlfriend(which he won't admit to)/shit I don't give a fuck about. In an attempt to move the fuck on, and show him how awesome I am, I decided I was going to date! So what better way then to join an online dating site, which I will not link here because fuck free advertizing(yes I realize no one is reading this but whatever). And I met some seriously ridiculous people. Like, ew. Lots of requests for some nude photos. And then, something wonderful happened. I get a message from a pretty hot dude, who is pretty interesting. We exchange numbers, and text, and I ask him to come over to hang out with me. We honestly were just going to be friends, but something happened. When we met it was some weird/creepy attraction and it's something I've never felt before, so him and I are now together. His name is Rob, by the way. I don't plan on telling him about this blog because he'll probably make fun of me. Which is fine, but if I can avoid it I will.
Now to continue with the longest blog post in the history of boring, my children. This will be brief because you'll hear all sorts of wonderful(or not) things about them in the future. And yes, I will be using their real names, not some creepy nicknames I'll probably forget.
Arianna, she is 6, and she was born on 4/2/05. She's the leader of the pack and can be quite a bitch. She has an attitude problem that she may or may not have gotten from me..but honestly she is such a kind child. Her teacher told me that if anyone is upset in class, Arianna is the first to console them.
Isabella/Bella is 3, she was born on 3/29/08. She's very particular and unbelievably attached to me. I'm positive her father cut her umbilical cord, but you'd never believe me. I love having conversations with her because she's just hilarious.
Alexandria/Alex is 2. She was born on 8/11/09. This child is, I promise you this, the Devil reincarnate. A lot of people tell me when I explain her actions that it's normal two year old behavior, but then they spend time with her... and believe my words. The worst part is that she can be so unbelievably cute and sweet that it kills any wrong doing she's done for an entire day. I've thought about strapping a camera to her and sending the whole thing to America's Funniest Videos, because I'm pretty sure they'd just hand me a million dollars. Medically, Alex has had a lot of problems. Around the time she turned one, she apparently swallowed two pennies(before you ask, HOW this happened without us noticing? Well she's my 3rd child, I kind of stopped paying attention. And she didn't even choke or anything on them). After a lot of doctors appointments because she was vomiting up everything she ate, we finally get an x-ray done to see the two pennies lodged in her throat. One they were able to remove via Upper Endoscopy, the other had eroded through her esophagus and was in her chest cavity. That needed full on surgery that included a fucking chest tube. So with all of that, she's needed 1 balloon inflation and is going for her second one in two weeks. This kid puts us through the ringer. My soon-to-be-ex-husband and I went to Jamaica, and when we returned, Arianna had strep throat and Alex had the same symptoms so they gave her antibiotics for strep as well. Well, those weren't working, back to the doctor and she is hospitalized for Kawasakis Disease. (yes its real, no she did not swallow a motorcycle) So she tends to make her presence known.
Now my sweet Victoria. She is only 8 months old as of now, born 12/28/10. She is the happiest, cutest baby to ever come shooting out of someones vagina on the face of this Earth. Although she is teething right now so I kind of wish I never met her but when she isn't hating her life, she is still super cute.
And with all that word vomit, I bid you motherfucking farewell.
